Don’t call it a comeback. Or a pub quiz.

pub quiz

Spark+Mettle descended upon The Albany in the heart of London for our fundraiser, This Is Not A Pub Quiz 2. Once we were assembled around  tables with some good food, good company and thinly veiled competitive spirit, we were ready to begin.

The first round was This is Not a Punch Line, where teams were given the punch lines to a number of jokes and their task was to come up with either the original question or their own brilliant alternatives. Some teams successfully had the judges in stitches with their creative substitutes that were WAY funnier than the originals.

We then moved onto This is Not a Dictionary Game.  The teams discovered the meanings of words rarely encountered in day-to-day speech, but are so awesome that we’re not sure how they have dropped into mild obscurity.  We all learnt that—contrary to some answers offered—the word ‘illeist’ neither refers to ‘a sick poltergeist,’ nor is it ‘a term of praise for a young person from Deptford’ (shame on you!)—rather it is ‘one who refers to oneself in third person.’ Quite.

The judges also soon realised in the next two rounds that some participants completely had their minds in the gutter.  In This Is Not What It Looks Like, teams were given a few minutes to come up with eight alternative uses for a randomly selected everyday object: a pencil. We are only in a position to say that many of the answers audaciously penned down would have made your granny blush.

Moreover, although host and Spark+Mettle founder Eugenie had declared that the Obligatory Picture Round had a filthy object, many decided that these hair straighteners  looked like something else entirely, whilst the horse sweat scraper—the actual filthy object—was given a more sinister, potential use by one team as they decided that it could be used to secure duct tape to the mouths of hostage victims. I mean, who let these guys in? Okay, we did.

After a short break, the teams embarked on the last two rounds.  For This Is Not 100% Cotton, each team had to summon up their inner origami prowess and create a washing line full of clothes made entirely out of pretty paper. Points were awarded to the teams that were able to tweet a picture of their washing line first and also produce the best looking line.

The finale round was a musical round called This Is Not His Greatest Hit.  Convinced that no-one ever really knows what Michael Jackson is saying in some of his most popular hits, we challenged the teams to bring a little bit of creative clarity.  They were given several minutes to rewrite the first verse and chorus of Smooth Criminal.  The bravest of the teams chose a representative to come and perform it for bonus points. Consequently, we learned two valuable things from the renditions:

  1. Smooth Criminal was about a grandfather clock all along.
  2. Annie is definitely not okay.

In our prize-giving, we awarded points to the moral victors, the team who won simply by their collective genius and brilliance, whilst we had immoral victors, who shamelessly bribed their way to the top of the leader board. High fives and goodies were also given to #victors who were those who lead the way in using social media in the most creative way during the evening.

It was a great night all round and a special thanks goes to Nandos, Camden Coffee House, LA Fitness, The Albany and Waterstones for their kind donations.

For more photos and news on This Is Not A Pub Quiz 2, check our Storify: